Progress but

Feeling the burnout with the fourth lockdown. Started my new thesis topic in October and now it’s already the end of June. I only finished Chapter 2 two days ago and about 30% in on Chapter 3, I’ve also been pushing points and writing some areas of Chapter 4 at the same time. I have to relook my Chapter 1 since the word count is way too much, I’m at 11k + words but only really need about 4k + words.

I fully completed data collection in March. I promised myself I’d be done with at least four chapters by end of April before The Handmaid’s Tale Season 4 arrived but I was way out of my head. I somehow totally ignored or forgot to check the word count and spent a whole month doing Chapter 1 until my husband nudged me. He said I was halfway since it showed a total of 27k + words. Oh My God. How could I have been careless? I’ve been moving sentences and paragraphs to the other chapters but I’m still way behind in putting words together.

On top of the fact that I keep adding more new data from new journals or articles I found and readjusting topic flow.

It is just so painful. It is just so stressful. It is just so difficult.

To get a space of peace, to think and transfer it to your fingers so you can type it out has become extremely difficult for me. Either I am way too tired, too sleepy or getting interrupted every two minutes by the kids. There is always something they need, which I am totally okay but they just have the most perfect timing on knowing when to interrupt huh when the brain juices are flowing, unfortunately.

I am also way too preoccupied with what’s happening on the national level. Why do I care so much? If we ever do get out of this, many would probably need therapy on how to survive the trauma and anxiety obtained from this nightmare.